Last Saturday, the U.S. kidnapped Venezuela’s President. On Monday, Donald Trump threatened to annex Greenland. On Tuesday, Marco Rubio added Cuba to the list. On Wednesday, American forces seized a Russian tanker in the North Atlantic. So today, mentioning what to do if America invades Canada feels neither fanciful nor juvenile. Indeed, serious people like Thomas Homer-Dixon and Bob Rae are claiming “We need to prepare for the possibility that the U.S. uses military coercion against Canada.”
Just in case it does between now and the next reporting cycle, here are some highly passive-aggressive forms of resistance for Canadians to practice on our invaders.
We’re known as the world’s most polite people; I say let’s use our overwhelming strength to save ourselves, or at least to slow America’s takeover of our home and native land.
I wrote about this issue back in ancient times last November. But now that there’s a clear and present danger to our sovereignty, knowing how to be non-violent in our civil disobedience will become a major life skill.
So, let’s practice…
1. Slow compliance. Introduce constant micro-delays into administrative and manufacturing procedures…like asking for repeated clarification, locating ‘lost’ files and adding extra forms.
2. Parallel legal culture. Lawyers and judges can interpret every new clause of occupation as ambiguous, ruling in favour of residents, and creating an alternate legal order that persistently resists efforts to punish peaceful dissent.
3. Mis-coordinate infrastructure. Engineers, dispatchers, and maintenance staff can introduce tiny, deniable inefficiencies into transport, telecom, and logistics systems. These subtle routing errors, scheduling mismatches and maintenance overcaution will impose heavy transaction costs on the occupier without dramatic sabotage.
4. Boycott occupier businesses. Half of what Canadians buy is from American companies. We know from “Elbows Up” that boycotting their goods and services can hurt them. So now that they’re patrolling our streets, let’s do it like we mean it.
5. Pollute data, don’t deny it. Instead of refusing to share information, flood officials and mandated apps with technically-plausible but irrelevant data, degrading the occupier’s analytics and decision-making.
6. Language-level trolling. Because both nations speak English, expand Canadian English (Canglish) with words that sound courteous yet mislead, delay or confuse demands for cooperation.
7. Learn the lessons of Minneapolis. That is to say, record everything and distribute it everywhere.
8. Be polite to a fault. Treat interactions with occupation troops as occasions calling for exquisite politeness, the kind that takes lots and lots of time. Answer every question with: “Sir, yes sir.”
9. Practice extreme hospitality. Constantly invite soldiers to “welcome parties” which smother the invitees in the differences between America and Canada. Speak to them in Canglish, assuming they know what you’re talking about.
As Henry Kissinger once said: ”To be an enemy of America can be dangerous, but to be a friend is fatal.”
We’re learning first-hand just how lethal that friendship can be.
Meanwhile…
1. 14,000 words on the Real China. Dan Wang’s annual letter is a yearly fright and delight about where China is headed. The other great prognosticator is Ian Bremmer, here with the biggest political risks of 2026, plus 15 Futurists on what the future holds.
2. Buckle up, Air Canada. Ottawa has just expanded Canadian landing rights on flights from Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates – and on Canadian flights to Saudi and the UAE as well. This means Air Canada has to compete head-to-head with Emirates and Etihad, among the world’s top airlines.
Speaking of air travel, here’s one future for short-haul flights.
3. A flurry of coups. A list of coups the U.S. has helped engineer from 1946 to last year. Plus the mechanics of America’s raid on Venezuela, and murder comes to Minneapolis.
4. Where lost luggage goes to die: Scottsboro, Alabama. Plus a 2-minute burnout checkup. Rate yourself here. Plus, people with balance, and sports that keep getting faster. And fascinating numbers on TV viewing. And finally, an adult life measured in months.
5. Why did you get divorced? A revealing reason. Plus how a baby girl grows into a woman every week for 20 years. Plus, a new luxury hotel for Newfoundland: The Warblers at Trinity is ideal for families or family offices.
6. The Oval Office. A third of the wall space is covered with gold. Speaking of kings, what’s with King Charles’ odd accent?
7. Thinkers and mobsters on life. First, Cory Doctorow on the Post-American Internet. Next, Paul Graham on how to do great work (plus, his essay in chart form.) Next,John Cleese on shorter and better meetings. Finally, an ex-mobster reflects on 32 years in prison
8. Ten minds on the art of growing old. A users’ guide from the likes of Henry Miller, Bertrand Russell, Ursula Le Guin, Simone de Beauvoir and Grace Paley. Plus, useful sayings for the real world. Plus the power rankings of this NFL season, and proof that great lines think alike.
9. That’s an idiotic idea. Now, you can turn your real feelings into corporate-speak via this handy app. Speaking of botched, the author of this restoration just died.
10. The club you have to die to join. The International Association for Near-Death Studies had its annual conference recently, which The New York Times duly reported on.
Cheating death is one thing; cheating on your accountancy exam is another. The world’s largest accountancy organization, The Association of Chartered Certified Accountants, willend its online exams from March, requiring candidates to take them in person. It seems you can cheat very easily online.
Publishing Note: You’ll receive the next Omnium-Gatherum blog on January 24. We’re off next week to a treehouse in the Peruvian Amazon where wifi is…null and void.