My $200 cheque arrived in the mail this week: a gift from Doug Ford to every adult in Ontario. I hadn’t thought much about what to do with it. Donate it to a charity? (Dozens have been asking.) Add it to the grandkids’ RESP? Buy eight $25 Tim Horton’s gift cards to give to street people for whom three hot meals a day is not a trivial gift?
But then The Saturday Morning Massacre happened and Donald Trump announced a 25% tariff on all Canadian goods entering America. Suddenly, every media outlet was filled with advice on how to fight back.
I remember back in 2002 when Canada’s dollar fell to an all-time low of 61 cents US, an economist said on CBC that if we all went out and spent $1,000 on a Canadian-made refrigerator or stove or TV, thousands of Canadian jobs would be saved, the dollar would instantly rise and our crisis would end.
What kept this small thing in my memory, when much more important things are fleeing with shocking speed, is the magic and empowerment it offered. I could actually take on the most powerful nation on earth, and if not win, at least contribute to Canada’s virtuous standoff.
This is where we are today, one giant week later: is the fight hopeless and we’re all doomed? Or can we fight a guerilla war (which the Vietnamese and Afghans have proven America is very bad at) and live to fight another day?
Who knows?
But more important, we’ll only know if we try and after we try. The answer to “What did you do in the war, daddy?” should not be “Nothing, my dear.” Especially when doing something, anything, is so very easy. All it takes is a bit of focus.
So, let’s begin with the easy things.
Canadians don’t make fridges, TV sets or generators anymore. But we can easily buy groceries that are “Made in Canada.”
We can also easily strike America from our vacation travel list. The U.S. accounts for just 1.8% of the world’s land mass, so it’s high time to explore the other 98.2%. And politically the US has become a predatory fascist state which puts it up there with Hungary, Russia, Myanmar and China for naïve visitor unattractiveness. Let’s not forget that Canada is the top source of international visitors to the United States, with 20.4 million visits last year, generating $20.5 billion in spending and supporting 140,000 American jobs. A 10 percent reduction in Canadian travel could mean two million fewer visits, $2.1 billion in lost spending and 14,000 job losses.
We can also easily lobby to remove tariffs between provinces. True, there are no actual tariffs, but there are big regulatory barriers that act as de facto barriers on dairy, eggs, poultry, doctors, trucking, and government contracts. Eliminating these barriers can boost our GDP by 3% to 7% which would more than make up for the 2% decrease in GDP caused by US tariffs. It’s hard to unite as Canadians when we’re sleeping with the enemy and the enemy is us.
If you’re rich, you can also divert some of your money into Canada’s starving venture capital sector, the source of new companies, jobs and growth. Yes, venture capital can be like playing the lottery and we’ve played feebly until now. But what better time to invest in a start-up with a chance?
Now that Mr. Trump has delayed our execution by one month, let’s use that time not to wring our hands, which we’ve been largely doing in this first week, but to roll up our sleeves. We have a nation to save.
Meanwhile…
1. Strange bedfellows. Boston and New York, and Hamas and The Red Cross, and New York Bagels and Montreal Bagels. And Icy Roads and Porn.
2. The best podcasts of the year. Here are two of the top picks from The Economist: “Thief at the British Museum…A curator at the British Museum stole objects and offered them for sale on eBay. Katie Razzall, the BBC’s culture editor, meets Ittai Gradel, an antiquities dealer who uncovered the crime.” And Shell Game… Evan Ratliff, a journalist, clones his voice and lets his AI counterpart speak to scammers, spammers and even his wife. “What will it do to us,” he asks, “when more and more of the people we encounter in the world aren’t real?”
3. The herd has moved. You know that feeling when something big suddenly doesn’t matter? That happened to Davos last month.
4. Going places fast and slow — and no. Again, TVO is airing a 5-part documentary on overtourism called Overbooked. It’s all about the day after cities reach peak attractiveness. Ironically, it seems the big problem with travel is its virtues, including as therapy. Meanwhile high-speed trains aren’t about breaking records. And last week Supersonic took flight. But some landings will always be rough.
5. Guys keeping up appearances. Plastic surgery is all about sculpted jawlines now, at $12,000 a pop. Also, when you’re feeling ugly and there’s no real reason to…Is your family this weird? And Hannibal Lecter, call home.
6. Actually, we got this wrong. First, the world is not turning more right-wing.
Next, technology is not rotting our children’s brains. Next, some big data is good for you – especially your teeth. And finally, there’s a verb tense that’s ruining your life.
7. Don’t be sad. Yes, this is prime time for Seasonal Affective Disorder. What you need is a daily dose of good news. As Steven Pinker says: “By an order of magnitude, this is the best source for positive news anywhere on the internet.” Indeed, Reasons to be Cheerful, which offers “news for when you’ve had too much news” is a distant second.
8. Different strokes. First, how different countries teach history. And speaking of strokes, what’s the biggest killer by far worldwide? Plus, what’s the most commonly spoken language in every US state after English and Spanish? And your partner isn’t always the needy one in your relationship. Maybe it’s your fake therapist.
9. “I’ll still have what she’s having.” This time, Meg Ryan orgasms for Hellmann’s mayonnaise. How to give a long sentence parole. Who naps standing up? Whales. And lest you think Polish anti-semitism has gone underground.
10. What’s better than tango? Tango After Dark. You can breathe in both when the world’s top tango dancers appear in Toronto March 14-16. Blog readers get a 20% discount on all tickets to all shows. Just key in promo code: RAMSAY20 by 11:59:59 p.m. on Feb. 14.
11. What I’m liking. Wade Davis’ Beneath the Surface of Things, his latest book of new and classic essays. “A timely and eclectic collection from one of the foremost thinkers of our time,” which The Guardian calls “a powerful, penetrating and immensely knowledgeable writer.”