As a kid, I thought pilots in trouble screamed this from their cockpit to mark May Day, the start of summer in Europe on May 1, halfway between the spring solstice of March 21 and the summer solstice of June 21. That’s absurd, you say. But no more so than Vladimir Putin using next Monday to celebrate his..uh..victory over Ukraine.

May 9th is Victory Day in Russia, marking the date in 1945 when the Nazis surrendered to Soviet troops in Berlin. Red Square is awash in strutting troops, guided missiles and tanks galore. This May, though, not so much. They’re all needed at the front. But reality plays no role here: Putin may use the parade to announce the start of the real war against Ukraine.