“The grass has riz. I wonder where the birdies is?” Who knows if that was written by Ogden Nash, Henrik Ibsen, or e e cummings?
Three old Major League umpires were teaching their trainees how to call strikes.
“I calls ‘em as I sees ‘em,” the first umpire said.
“I calls ‘em as they are,” said the second.
“Gentleman,” the third one said: “They ain’t nuthin’ till I call ‘em.”
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